While online dating lures our technological hearts, beware that it comes with real pitfalls, not virtual.
Online dating sites have cropped up like virtual weeds, offering romance and the chance to find a soulmate. But jumping into the online dating things is like tap dancing through a minefield. Case in point, my friend (let's call him Hubert) who thought he found true love online.
Here's a true story of what happened to poor Hubert. While he's a bright guy, well-read, loves chess and music, he hadn't hooked up with anyone in some time. He thought it was his time to fall into a serious relationship.
Hubert hopped online, joined a dating service and started surfing the choices. He thought it was way cool to peruse the bios of women from across the country. He liked the voyeuristic thrill of sizing up women without them knowing it.
He sent out some e-mails and waited for any takers. To his delight, a response to his e-mails popped up on his computer from a woman that lived about 200 miles away. They exchanged pleasantries and eventually photos. Hubert thought he had stumbled onto a winner.
He arranged to meet the woman at a coffee shop about halfway between both of them. It was a long ride, but he liked her sense of humor and easy-going attitude in writing, at least. He had never met a woman like this.
Based on the photo she had sent, he anticipated meeting a vivacious woman of around 40 years old with dark hair and shiny eyes. In the coffee shop, he scanned the crowded tables, but didn't spot the woman in the photo. However, he did spot a woman sitting alone at a table in the corner.
Unfortunately, she didn't look anything like her photo. Actually, her photo was probably taken about 20 years and 40 pounds ago.
OK, people change. But aren't we suppose to be more concerned what's inside a person rather than what they look like? He sat down, slightly put off by her deception, but tried to make the best of it.
Within minutes, they fell easily into a long conversation. The chemistry was bubbling between them. Hubert thought he had found the most incredible woman he had ever met -- even if she were older and heavier than she first portrayed.
For the next month, they saw each other on weekends. Hubert was falling deeply into love, and he had online dating to thank for it. They enjoyed discovering each other, sharing dreams and their lives. Hubert thought it was crazy, but he quickly envisioned moving in with this woman. His search was over for the perfect mate.
Within a couple of months, they were planning to live together. They discussed finding an apartment halfway between their respective towns. Compromise was easy for both. This was true love, nurtured on the Internet.
That was until the day Hubert sent an e-mail to his Internet lover and she never answered. He sent her text messages -- no answer. He called her cell phone and got her recording, but not her. He was concerned that something had happened to her. Maybe she was sick; maybe was kidnapped by aliens. Did he offend her? Who knew what?
Hubert considered calling friends, but realized that she really didn't have any. They had met, fallen in love and he had never met one friend or family member. She told him that she was from a small town near Chicago. But he had never been to her house.
Out of desperation, he went back online and saw that her profile was gone from the Internet dating service. Being a savvy guy on the Internet, on a whim, he googled her name. He was surprised when several newspaper articles popped from his search.
He clicked the latest and read about the woman, the love of his life, who he had met on the Internet. His stomach dropped to his knees when he read the headlines: "Local Woman Charged With Murder of Her Husband."
Breaking into a sweat, he read the story, learning that this wonderful woman he had met online was married to the man she allegedly murdered for 12 years and worked as an office manager for an insurance firm. But the husband's body was not found after three months of investigation when she reported her husband missing. A queasy feeling knotted his stomach. He was too stunned to read on. His Internet love affair had crashed and burned.
Could she be contemplating of doing the same to him? Hubert couldn't go there. It was too frightening, too incomprehensible. He had never seen any strange behavior in her. She was kind, loving and told him that they were soulmates.
This true story is not a condemnation of online dating. But a warning that when you go looking for love, you never know what you're going to find. Of course, there are many stories of people falling in love through online datin
Recent Comments