About Dating Online

This 'pickup' line works for me every time.

If you see a girl you want to talk to, go up to her, smile, put out your hand and say:
"Hello, my name is ...".

She will always respond by shaking your hand and telling you her name. It certainly takes courage to do this and she will notice your bravery.

So what next after this smooth introduction? Simple things like, "How is your day going?" or "Are you having a good time?" Make her feel comfortable and get her talking.

Sometimes, when I have felt really brave, I have added, "I saw you over here and justed wanted to say 'hi'". If she is feeling brave she might ask, "So why did you want to come and say 'hi' to me?" If things are going well I respond with "Because you're are so cute..."

If you are they type that is comfortable meeting women at bars, definitley seek out bars that are packed.

Bars that are packed and very crowded make the introduction process much easier. In a very crowded bar, you are physically much closer to the women - you notice them and they notice you. Being so close, you often literally bump into them or brush up against them by accident and a conversation starts from that. If you do see someone you like, being close makes it much easier to go up and say something to get things started.

Compare this sitting down at a table or a booth in a not-so crowded bar. There is a lot of space to overcome just to start a conversation with a woman. Seek out the bars with little elbow room and you will see your connections go way up.

It is very important to notice and understand a woman's body language, gestures and other non-verbal communication when you first meet or start dating. A woman's body will tell you many things she isn't saying and this will let you know how she is feeling about you.

A woman's non-verbal communication can be broken down into the following areas: body language, acts of grooming, nervous energy, touching and mimicking.

Body Language
Body language will tell you how open a woman is to you - interested women display open body language.

Open body language starts with a face that is animated, expressive or engaging and an easy, natural smile. A big smile which shows teeth is a good first sign. An open and inviting face should be matched by an open body stance in which she faces you squarely with her shoulders parallel to yours, toes pointing to you, with her eyes looking into your eyes. An open body stance visibly shows that she is interested and comfortable.

If a woman leans squarely in to you and then looks into your eyes, this is even better. The longer the gaze, the more interested she is. Other signs of an open body position include open palms where you can see the inside of her hands and wrists. A more overt woman may even stick out her chest or accentuate other body parts by stance or posture. Women also secretly show their interest by lips that are slightly opened when you first meet, by shrugging shoulders which shows they are harmless or that they give up, and the raising and lowering of the eyebrows or 'making eyes'.

Compare open body language with closed body language which shows guarding, discomfort and disinterest. In a closed body position, a woman turns her body away from you which is often called the 'cold shoulder'. In turning away from you, she also has her feet and toes pointed away and she almost appears ready to flee. She is likely not smiling much and looks away often. Other signs of a closed body position include folding of arms, crossing of legs, covering or hiding of body parts including hiding of the hands, palms and wrists. A woman may hide her hands behind her, put them in her pockets or feel more comfortable sitting on them. Clenching of fists, grabbing a drink or her handbag with both hands also show signs of discomfort and uneasiness.

Men, keep in mind that women notice and are attracted to your open body language. Use the signs of open body language yourself to be noticed by women and to show them you are open, confident and approachable.

Acts of Grooming
When a woman displays small signs of grooming while looking and talking to you, she is trying to look her best for you. Grooming acts include moving hair that is in front of her face with either a head movement or by using her hands. Grooming also includes brushing her hair with her hands, licking her lips and teeth, putting on lipstick or gloss, or placing a fingernail between her teeth.

Nervous Energy
If she touches her ears, lips, cheeks, face, or wrists while looking at you, this is a sign of nervous energy and good sign for you. Some people believe that in touching herself in these gentle ways, she is actually mildly stimulating herself.

Positive nervous energy can also be displayed if she plays with her hair, rubs her glass up and down with one hand, sips her drink more quickly, or inhales her cigarette more often. The heart of on interested woman beats faster and she is letting out this energy in this way. Fidgeting or playing with items such as rings, necklaces and her purse are also good signs. Eye contact with you while she displays nervous energy is sure sign that you are the cause of this nervous energy rather than her being agitated by someone or something else.

Touching and Mimicking
Toucing is perhaps the strongest signal a woman can give you. If a woman touches you anywhere including your arms, back and shoulder, and especially your thighs and hands, this is a very good sign. She is showing that she is comfortable with you and comfortable getting closer to you. Has a woman ever taken your arm and led you somewhere? This is one step beyond touching and it is even a sign to others that you are together.

Mimicking is another behavior which demonstrates her interest. If she raises, lowers and generally matches your volume, speed and manner of talking, she is trying to be like you. She may also imitate your body motions and actions, she may laugh when you laugh and increasingly make more eye contact with you - these are sure signs that a dance has begun.

Women tell us many things with their bodies that they are not saying - it is time we start listening.

Sometimes you have to make a fool of yourself to become wiser. We will all go through life looking foolish at some point, it is just important to learn from the experience. Here is a story about how I made a fool of myself in front of some women and what I learned from it.

I was at a bar, having some drinks and was feeling pretty good. Earlier, my friend and I had chatted to a group of three friendly girls. I wanted to dance and was feeling pretty brave so I went up to these three girls and asked, "Anybody want to dance?".

Ouch, what a terrible line. The question itself rightly annoyed these girls and they barely had the energy or interest to say 'no'. Even if these girls were interested, what were they supposed to say, "Oh, pick me, pick me please!".

I had good intentions and was tring to be polite but I was not specific. I should have gone up to the girl I liked the most and asked her if she wanted to dance. Floating out a general question like that in front of three girls to see if anyone is intersted is foolish no matter how well intentionned it might be.

Being ThirtySomething is rapidly becoming the crux age for many of us. It's the time when we have matured and have woken up one morning to understand finally who we are and what we are about. We generally have some idea of direction at this age and it is a time for choices and crossroads. Life may have begun at 40 in times gone by but these days your 30th Birthday is the age to sit up and take note. It is a time for reflection and self analysis, for checking how we are doing with our ambitions, and coming to terms with the fact that we are passing into a more mature age group - like it or not. I am not suggesting that becoming 30 means getting older or changing our lives but there are few of us who doubt it is not a time when we start to think - think a lot.

Now, dating is heavily related to this ThirtySomethings age group because now that careers have been sorted out and a salary is coming in regularly it has dawned on us that we better get a partner to share some of these things with. For women, it may be a time when children become dauntingly high on their list of priorities and the hunt is on for a suitable parent and father. It may not yet be a time for frantic panic but its not far away. We will not get steadily older and whilst some of us will get better with age, most of us start to look a little ragged round the edges so we need to secure the best Dating Options whilst we still can.

Being ThirtySomething means having more time and money to date properly, to make decisive choices about who, where and what you want to date and to learn from past dating mistakes. By now most of us will have at least on important Relationships in the bag though some of us will not yet have fallen in love. We have strong friendships and plenty of shared practical experience in the ways of the heart. But all is not well, dating as you get older becomes increasingly frustrating and tiring. Your base levels for a perfect match have increased and you are becoming increasingly selective. You are tired of meeting jerks and timewasters and people who simply don't match with you, people out for sex and anything they can get.

The other major thing to add is that dating for ThirtySomethings is higher risk. Time is moving on, you don't want to waste more years in another failed relationship so you become determined to get it right so you become more cautious and careful. You are aware of divorce law, so you are also aware that you can meet the wrong person and they could take half of what you worked so hard to achieve. You have become cautious in your old age. Dating fatigue has set in if you have been single for some time and you feel increasingly frustrated that you will not meet the right person.

There is a tiny dread in the back of your mind that it may not be possible to meet Mr. or Miss Right because just maybe they don't exist. Increasingly you may come across unparalleled shallowness, in both sexes. Men can lose their hair in their thirties and Women can age in different ways. Suddenly you won't do because you are thin on top or maybe your bosom isn't as pert as it was 10 years ago. You discover that that search for a soul mate may well be bull and that if you are George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston you will always do nicely.

The next issue to hit ThirtySomethings when dating is where to date. In your twenties you were are trance and rave clubs until 3am, or in bars with friends dancing until all hours and still able to be fresh in the office for 8.30am. Now you are 35, it isn't so easy to burn the candle at both ends. You need your sleep, you may not feel comfortable in places surrounded by people a decade younger so you may seek out solace in newer places. It is true that the cafe bar society has grown out of a wealthy ThirtySomething dating society and we can be thankful, but places to date are still not as easy to come by. It seems that clubs for ThirtySomethings are a little forced, and too directed to in your face dating. In other words, subtlety of the dating ritual has been lost, you are being checked out from the moment you enter the room.

Another issue that crops up with dating and ThirtySomethings is the age group we should date. Should we go for younger people, let us say aged 25 upwards, or maybe we like the more mature man or woman, let us say over 40. This really is an issue. It is an issue if we are still wanting children. In our thirties the people we may meet could already have a child or be separated or divorced and don't want another child. Or they may be actively seeking to have a child. If you are a woman you may be looking for a man who will make a good father.

If you are a man you may be looking for a woman of child bearing age and therefore may not consider a woman over 40. This is the dilemma. Age starts to become a factor. It is possible you will feel you don't have much in common with someone aged 21 but do find them Attractive, on the other hand you may find yourself drawn to the more mature aspects of an older man or woman. You can go in both directions at this age as you straddle the age gap.

The people we meet of our own age gap now have stories to tell, they may have baggage or they may have lost of baggage. We all have some kind of emotional dross we carry with us but in this age group it becomes very relevant. Do we want to meet people who already have a child by someone else, could we cope with children who aren't ours? There are a great many people on the rebound who have just spent years in relationships that didn't end. They could have had a 12 year marriage and be 31 and divorced and vowing never to get married again. Therefore, the people we meet as ThirtySomethings are far more complex than before.

The Purpose of this Article is not to provide answers but to acknowledge that being ThirtySomething is a very difficult age for dating and to recognize some of the factors that we are all sharing. I for one am 37 and never married so I know this subject well. We will carry on dating with renewed optimism but let us not forget that there are millions of people just like us, all looking for our perfect partner whilst coping with the issues stated.