About Dating Online

There are some gifts you should never give a woman if you want to keep her. Gifts are about forethought and understanding. Gifts are about listening and surprising. If you have listened well you will know what she likes or what she might like. Get it right and she will love you all the more, get it wrong and you will come across as a fool.

The best gifts are handmade, show care and attention to detail. They don't have to be expensive but they should reflect both taste and measure.

Here are some gifts you should truly avoid if you still want to be together next Christmas:

1. Electrical appliances (unless she asks for them).

2. Cleaning equipment (this is definitely a no, no).

3. Cooking utensils (unless you want to wear your dinner).

4. A gift for yourself and pretend it is for her.

5. Cheap perfume (no matter how fancy it looks you will never fool her).

6. Clothes (even if you have impeccable taste, clothes are a woman's pleasure). Give her the money to buy them instead.

7. Cubic zirconium jewelry (if it's not diamonds it's not worth having).

8. Under no circumstances must you buy her flannel lingerie (only silk will do).

9. Gift certificate for weight watchers (you will be signing your own death warrant).

10. Anti-wrinkle cream (would you like her to buy you acne cream? I didn't think so).

11, Gift vouchers show a last minute attempt to provide something without thinking. Don't bother unless you simply lack imagination or have exhausted every other creative outlet.

12. A weekend away together to your parents. Don't even think about it.

While online dating lures our technological hearts, beware that it comes with real pitfalls, not virtual.

Online dating sites have cropped up like virtual weeds, offering romance and the chance to find a soulmate. But jumping into the online dating things is like tap dancing through a minefield. Case in point, my friend (let's call him Hubert) who thought he found true love online.

Here's a true story of what happened to poor Hubert. While he's a bright guy, well-read, loves chess and music, he hadn't hooked up with anyone in some time. He thought it was his time to fall into a serious relationship.

Hubert hopped online, joined a dating service and started surfing the choices. He thought it was way cool to peruse the bios of women from across the country. He liked the voyeuristic thrill of sizing up women without them knowing it.

He sent out some e-mails and waited for any takers. To his delight, a response to his e-mails popped up on his computer from a woman that lived about 200 miles away. They exchanged pleasantries and eventually photos. Hubert thought he had stumbled onto a winner.

He arranged to meet the woman at a coffee shop about halfway between both of them. It was a long ride, but he liked her sense of humor and easy-going attitude in writing, at least. He had never met a woman like this.

Based on the photo she had sent, he anticipated meeting a vivacious woman of around 40 years old with dark hair and shiny eyes. In the coffee shop, he scanned the crowded tables, but didn't spot the woman in the photo. However, he did spot a woman sitting alone at a table in the corner.

Unfortunately, she didn't look anything like her photo. Actually, her photo was probably taken about 20 years and 40 pounds ago.

OK, people change. But aren't we suppose to be more concerned what's inside a person rather than what they look like? He sat down, slightly put off by her deception, but tried to make the best of it.

Within minutes, they fell easily into a long conversation. The chemistry was bubbling between them. Hubert thought he had found the most incredible woman he had ever met -- even if she were older and heavier than she first portrayed.

For the next month, they saw each other on weekends. Hubert was falling deeply into love, and he had online dating to thank for it. They enjoyed discovering each other, sharing dreams and their lives. Hubert thought it was crazy, but he quickly envisioned moving in with this woman. His search was over for the perfect mate.

Within a couple of months, they were planning to live together. They discussed finding an apartment halfway between their respective towns. Compromise was easy for both. This was true love, nurtured on the Internet.

That was until the day Hubert sent an e-mail to his Internet lover and she never answered. He sent her text messages -- no answer. He called her cell phone and got her recording, but not her. He was concerned that something had happened to her. Maybe she was sick; maybe was kidnapped by aliens. Did he offend her? Who knew what?

Hubert considered calling friends, but realized that she really didn't have any. They had met, fallen in love and he had never met one friend or family member. She told him that she was from a small town near Chicago. But he had never been to her house.

Out of desperation, he went back online and saw that her profile was gone from the Internet dating service. Being a savvy guy on the Internet, on a whim, he googled her name. He was surprised when several newspaper articles popped from his search.

He clicked the latest and read about the woman, the love of his life, who he had met on the Internet. His stomach dropped to his knees when he read the headlines: "Local Woman Charged With Murder of Her Husband."

Breaking into a sweat, he read the story, learning that this wonderful woman he had met online was married to the man she allegedly murdered for 12 years and worked as an office manager for an insurance firm. But the husband's body was not found after three months of investigation when she reported her husband missing. A queasy feeling knotted his stomach. He was too stunned to read on. His Internet love affair had crashed and burned.

Could she be contemplating of doing the same to him? Hubert couldn't go there. It was too frightening, too incomprehensible. He had never seen any strange behavior in her. She was kind, loving and told him that they were soulmates.

This true story is not a condemnation of online dating. But a warning that when you go looking for love, you never know what you're going to find. Of course, there are many stories of people falling in love through online datin

You're hanging out at a party when, out of nowhere, you suddenly notice someone standing close to you.  In fact, you realize he or she keeps turning up nearby, trying to catch your eye. The two of you start talking and your new friend smiles, laughs, finds excuses to touch you and holds your gaze. This person is clearly flirting with you. How do you know? Because, although you may not realize it, you are already an expert in flirting and body language.

Flirting Demystified

What would dating be without flirting? Flirting is fun, it signals that we're interested in someone and it initiates most successful relationships. Flirting means giving someone your full attention; it means smiling, touching and playing. In the right circumstances, it is a powerful tool. In the wrong circumstances, it can lead to embarrassment and be a complete turn off.

For most people, flirting comes naturally. Many forms of flirting are simply outgrowths of the way you behave when you meet someone you really like and are interested in having a romantic relationship with. However, some flirting is more subtle, making it hard to tell whether you're reading something that's not there into an interaction simply because you want the other person to flirt with you.

For these reasons, it's useful to examine some of the key indicators of flirting, which can prove extremely helpful when trying to figure out if the person across the table is interested in you – and help you express your interest in them!

Body Language

• Prolonged eye contact
• Dilated pupils
• Arched eyebrows
• Winking
• Rapid eye movement and blinking
• Stroking or toying with hair
• Smiling
• Licking of lips
• Touching the lips or teeth with tongue
• Thrusting chest or breasts outward
• Mirroring or copying posture
• Crossing legs
• Leaning inward
• Open-legged posture

Other Behavior

• Any form of touching
• Playing with hands
• Fidgeting nervously
• Shy avoidance of eye contact
• Standing on one leg or shifting weight back and forth

 Conversation

• Laughter
• Whispering
• Personal questions, especially about relationship status
• Singling someone out in a group for conversation and questions

However you flirt, keep in mind that flirting should indicate your interest in getting to know someone -- in a polite, respectful and tactful way.  Using cheesy pickup lines, being too aggressive, touching inappropriately or being in any way vulgar or rude will get you not only turned down but also probably slapped. Flirting is designed to make the person you're flirting with feel attractive and special, not intimidated.

For some people, dating is a challenge. It is a conquest, a crusade and a sport. As you are neither a competitor or a prize, don't allow yourself to be come a victim to such players. Dating is an affair of the heart and should be treated as such. It is fun to date but it is also serious business. However, when we date, it is true that we do like a challenge, we like to get the guy, we like to get the gal. It makes us feel good about ourselves to date someone nice and so it would be unfair not to talk about challenge in dating.

We often like to go for someone just out of reach, that is a challenge. As humans with ambition, we like to reach and strive upwards. Therefore, dating someone we view as slightly out of our league (for a million reasons) is all the more attractive. This could be someone wealthy, or in a good job, or someone who is simply not usually our 'type'.

It is interesting how we are able to adapt ourselves to this level of interest in people we may not usually consider, when we are dating. Generally we will stick to people in our own social strata as we are more comfortable here and we will date those people who we generally have done in the past. After all, it is where we feel subconsciously that we belong.

Yet every now and again a challenge presents itself. You see a guy who you really fancy, someone you could really go for but someone who may not normally go for a girl (or guy) like you. As a guy you see a girl who would not take a second glance at you. The challenge is set. Challenges are healthy because they take us out of our comfort zone and allow us to grow as human beings. They also give us confidence, especially when we succeed in our challenge.

Who doesn't want to date a supermodel or a male superstar? Its a natural part of fantasy to strive for what we perceive as perfection. Reality may be different but it doesn't prevent us from taking on challenges occasionally. However it is fair to say, that in reality we won't date the superstars and even if we did, we would probably not enjoy it half so much anyway.

When I was younger I had always wanted to date a rich girl and I was lucky to meet a great girl called Nicola who had very wealthy parents. It was not that I was very poor but I was attracted to and interested in her lifestyle and everything about her lifestyle. Not for possessions, but just because her ways of doing things were different to my own.

The first weekend I was invited to her parents house in London and soon discovered that her world was out of my league. We went to a party and I was expected to cover the cost of champagne. Even the smallest things were way out of my price range and soon I discovered that however much I liked this girl I really didn't fit in and couldn't afford her world unfortunately. There were her ways of doing things that I knew nothing about. Forms of behavior and social etiquette that I was new to and I found every function stressful. In the end we parted amicably and I wished her the best. The point of the story being that to date a girl like her was  challenge, but once I got there, she was a date too difficult to sustain.

For girls the challenge is in dating a cool, good-looking bad-boy. He could be the ski instructor or the life guard or the surf instructor. No woman has managed to capture this man's heart so she thinks she is the one to do it. He is enigmatic, he is trouble with a capital T, and he is oh so Mr. Popular. All the girls love him because he is a maverick. So why do the girls love him, because he doesn't care, because he is full of confidence, because he doesn't need a woman. This raises the interests levels of certain women. They rise to the challenge and aim to be the one who will tame him.

Why is it that you are ALWAYS more popular when you have a partner? It is of course because you are attractive by design. You have a partner therefore the people around you see you as being more attractive and successful in relationships. After all, if they have you and you respect them ,then there must be something about you after all. The challenge is set, they want you also, because they want to challenge themselves to see if they can get you. They may not want you but they certainly want to know that they could have had you! Its a real irony, but you are at your most desirable when attached and at your most wanted. The moment you are single, people want to know why.

Insecurity in some promotes challenge. By having conquests and sleeping with many partners one gets a false sense of attractiveness, self confidence and being wanted. The fact is, its just sex, nothing more. When a guy is young her will challenge himself to get certain girls into bed. He will aim to seek confidence and self understanding through self-set conquests. It is mainly a sign of immaturity, but it affects people of all adult ages.

Challenges in dating will always be with us, they are a natural part of our psyche in us wanting to obtain something and someone we feel is out of our reach. When dating make sure that you are not someone else's challenge and be a little cautious. If you yourself are seeking a dating challenge then at least have the respect to date the person properly once they finally say yes to your charms.

I always used to think that finding a soul mate would be a really easy thing to do when you are ready for it.  That was when I was younger and perhaps a little more idealistic.  Don't get me wrong, for some people, it happens fairly quickly, even before they have started their first full time job.  They end up marrying their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after.  For others, that ideal partner appears in college or university and still for others, it occurs when they meet someone at work as they are climbing their career ladder.  Yet, for a large number of people, the perfect "life long partner" does not seem to appear through any of these means.  And this is why the world of internet dating has become increasingly popular.  Before, internet dating was something you would not tell your friends you are doing.  Now, it would almost be considered strange of you were single for more than a year and never have tried it.

When people first try internet dating, they get quite excited and do a lot of things wrong.  They read profiles of people quickly and don't pay attention to the potential things that they may not like about their potential date.  The excitement of meeting an attractive, smart and interesting person is enough to make them ignore the little things that they usually don't like  - for example smoking, drinking, etc.

I fell into this trap at first but quickly found out a few important DO's or DO NOT's when internet dating and trying to find a soul ma