n the beginning of a relationship, everything
looks so peechy keen between both parties and it seems like the grass
is always greener on the other side and most people that see a couple
and might say “Oh, you see that couple is perfect for each other” where
it’s almost so serene. Although, relationships are work and you have to
make it work by communicating with one another because if there’s no
communication and trust, you have nothing at all. You have to trust one
another all the way. Now, the worst thing to do is set off false
accusations. Now, lets be truthful here no one wants to be with a nag
and if you nag your mate about every little thing then that’s just going
to push your mate away to stray.
Know this: Let your man have
his guys night out with his friends, and you ladies should have a ladies
night out with your girlfriends. The same way a man has his male
friends, a woman should have girlfriends too as well. And once the both
of you get back together at the end of the day, everything should be
great between both parties because you gave each other space to do what
you both wanted to do.
VIP: You don’t need anyone breathing down
your back while you’re handling business because it only complicates
things. In order to remain sane, you both have to live your own lives
and give each other some space and breathing room, by not being too
demanding and overprotective. Give your partner a chance to miss you at
the end of the day. You both have to come with compromising situations
with an understanding. The mistakes that a lot of people make when in
relationships are doing silly things to keep your mate, because you
can’t trap anyone to keep them. If your relationship isn’t broken then
don’t try to fix it. Because that’s where the problems begin and if
you’re living with someone and keys are given to you, you should not
snoop around. If you snoop around, you’ll find out things that you don’t
want to find whether it’s in the past or the present. So, eventually in
the end someone ends up getting hurt in the long run and that’s where
the problems start. By snooping around, you’re not respecting your mates
space that he or she has given you and by doing so you’re also
violating your mates privacy, ruining your chances of ever getting
closer because of one’s silly actions. Just like your mate has to
maintain his sanity, you should be able to maintain your sanity as well.
Women should not wear the pants all the time because you have to let a
man be a man. Don’t try to be little your mate because at the end of th
day he’s still a man. Respect one another!
There are some gifts you should never give a woman if you want to keep her. Gifts are about forethought and understanding. Gifts are about listening and surprising. If you have listened well you will know what she likes or what she might like. Get it right and she will love you all the more, get it wrong and you will come across as a fool.
The best gifts are handmade, show care and attention to detail. They don't have to be expensive but they should reflect both taste and measure.
Here are some gifts you should truly avoid if you still want to be together next Christmas:
1. Electrical appliances (unless she asks for them).
2. Cleaning equipment (this is definitely a no, no).
3. Cooking utensils (unless you want to wear your dinner).
4. A gift for yourself and pretend it is for her.
5. Cheap perfume (no matter how fancy it looks you will never fool her).
6. Clothes (even if you have impeccable taste, clothes are a woman's pleasure). Give her the money to buy them instead.
7. Cubic zirconium jewelry (if it's not diamonds it's not worth having).
8. Under no circumstances must you buy her flannel lingerie (only silk will do).
9. Gift certificate for weight watchers (you will be signing your own death warrant).
10. Anti-wrinkle cream (would you like her to buy you acne cream? I didn't think so).
11, Gift vouchers show a last minute attempt to provide something without thinking. Don't bother unless you simply lack imagination or have exhausted every other creative outlet.
12. A weekend away together to your parents. Don't even think about it.
Jean Meyer believes the best and brightest are alone on college campuses. The 28-year-old Frenchman says college students are only communicating through technology and so career driven that they are putting love on the back burner. Figuring these overachievers needed a way to meet each other efficiently, because they don't have the time or inclination to hang out in the college pubs, Mr. Meyer, a business student at Columbia University founded Datemyschool.com, an online dating service for busy and discriminating students.
Private investors have staked the site with a $500,000 investment, the New York Times reports, and it is now operating at Columbia, New York University, and the Fashion Institute of Technology. "Created with Balazs Alexa, also a 28-year-old M.B.A. candidate at Columbia, Date My School offers a highly selective shortcut to love for students who are fluent in social media but too entrenched in their studies for much of an actual social life," writes Hannah Miet for the Times.
Coed Teresa Finney likes Meyer and Alexa's site, because traditional dating sites aren't working for her and she doesn't have the free time to waste looking for Mr. Right at Starbucks. "I am interested in dating people who will not feel threatened by my schedule."
"The site is elitist, and all the better for it," Ms. Finney tells the Times. Although the political structure of democracy or republic isn't going away anytime soon, sites like this may bring together some of the world's most motivated young people who reside on right-hand tail of the IQ bell curve.
The creative explosion could be astounding, serving to change the world through technology and commerce rather than the current wasting of energy and time on political solutions that are little more than assorted pep rallies to encourage sociopaths.
In his essay, "Natural Elites, Intellectuals, and the State," Hans-Hermann Hoppe wrote of a natural elite — a group of people who would rise to leadership roles in a free society as an outgrowth of voluntary transactions rather than state force. These transactions occurring between private-property owners would be "nonegalitarian, hierarchical, and elitist."
Society would look to the natural elite due to their natural abilities and talent. The elites would achieve wealth, wisdom, and bravery, and in turn come to possess the natural authority, with their opinions and judgments enjoying respect. Hoppe goes on to emphasize that, through selective mating and marriage, positions of natural authority would likely to be passed on within a few families; it is to these families that society would turn with its conflicts.
Date My School is looking to expand to other campuses on both coasts. For those who know the Facebook story, this all sounds familiar, and Mr. Meyer is sometimes called the French Zuckerberg.
But while Facebook now tries to connect everyone everywhere, Date My School is only for the selective studying at exclusive universities — at least for now.
Many college students and former students will say there's no need for online help in dating and finding romance. After all, there are thousands of students cohabiting in a small area; it's a target-rich environment. Sure, for those who enjoy and excel at social interaction. Hitting the bars, dances, and events to practice moves they've developed to charm the opposite sex is enjoyable for those who continually practice this sort of thing.
However, for the career-driven and nerdy, this four-to-six-year mating ritual dressed up in school colors is at best an annoyance and may in fact be downright painful. Advanced calculus is easy for these folks, but playing the games to attract Mr. or Ms. Right (or Right Now) is a foreign concept, and the learning curve is steep.
The division of labor works in dating as it does with anything else. The academically inclined should focus their energies and time on their studies. That's what they enjoy and what they're good at. And now these young entrepreneurs have created a way to efficiently match potentially compatible people. "If you are in grad school at N.Y.U. or Columbia, I have to assume you are smart, ambitious and motivated — at least one of the three," Columbia student Jonathan Fainberg told the NYT. "So far, everyone I have met through Date My School has been an impressive individual, even if they weren't dateable for me."
Although new, online dating has rapidly grown to be a $4 billion business. Its reported that one in five people in a committed relationship met online. The most successful sites focus on pairing people by race, religion, or sexual orientation. It may not seem romantic, but being introduced to someone with the same intellectual capacity, drive, and common interests only makes sense.
Mr. Meyer tells the Times, "Young people today have the impression that dating is like buying consumer goods." Dating may in fact be like buying consumer goods, but long-term relationships would be analogous to what Austrian economist refer to as higher-order goods.
Those with low time preferences will be more inclined to seek out partners they can grow and thrive with emotionally for the long haul. Selective online dating enhances these prospects. Conversely, as Tho Bishop describes in his wonderful article "A Romantic Boom and Bust," playing games for short-term romantic gain is the equivalent of malinvestment.
In the modern world, only those with high time preferences will leave love to serendipity. Those with low time preferences, high mental horsepower, and motivation will use technology to find a mate. Over time, Hoppe's natural elite will emerge — not through politics but via the division of labor amplified by technology and entrepreneurial creativity.
While online dating lures our technological hearts, beware that it comes with real pitfalls, not virtual.
Online dating sites have cropped up like virtual weeds, offering romance and the chance to find a soulmate. But jumping into the online dating things is like tap dancing through a minefield. Case in point, my friend (let's call him Hubert) who thought he found true love online.
Here's a true story of what happened to poor Hubert. While he's a bright guy, well-read, loves chess and music, he hadn't hooked up with anyone in some time. He thought it was his time to fall into a serious relationship.
Hubert hopped online, joined a dating service and started surfing the choices. He thought it was way cool to peruse the bios of women from across the country. He liked the voyeuristic thrill of sizing up women without them knowing it.
He sent out some e-mails and waited for any takers. To his delight, a response to his e-mails popped up on his computer from a woman that lived about 200 miles away. They exchanged pleasantries and eventually photos. Hubert thought he had stumbled onto a winner.
He arranged to meet the woman at a coffee shop about halfway between both of them. It was a long ride, but he liked her sense of humor and easy-going attitude in writing, at least. He had never met a woman like this.
Based on the photo she had sent, he anticipated meeting a vivacious woman of around 40 years old with dark hair and shiny eyes. In the coffee shop, he scanned the crowded tables, but didn't spot the woman in the photo. However, he did spot a woman sitting alone at a table in the corner.
Unfortunately, she didn't look anything like her photo. Actually, her photo was probably taken about 20 years and 40 pounds ago.
OK, people change. But aren't we suppose to be more concerned what's inside a person rather than what they look like? He sat down, slightly put off by her deception, but tried to make the best of it.
Within minutes, they fell easily into a long conversation. The chemistry was bubbling between them. Hubert thought he had found the most incredible woman he had ever met -- even if she were older and heavier than she first portrayed.
For the next month, they saw each other on weekends. Hubert was falling deeply into love, and he had online dating to thank for it. They enjoyed discovering each other, sharing dreams and their lives. Hubert thought it was crazy, but he quickly envisioned moving in with this woman. His search was over for the perfect mate.
Within a couple of months, they were planning to live together. They discussed finding an apartment halfway between their respective towns. Compromise was easy for both. This was true love, nurtured on the Internet.
That was until the day Hubert sent an e-mail to his Internet lover and she never answered. He sent her text messages -- no answer. He called her cell phone and got her recording, but not her. He was concerned that something had happened to her. Maybe she was sick; maybe was kidnapped by aliens. Did he offend her? Who knew what?
Hubert considered calling friends, but realized that she really didn't have any. They had met, fallen in love and he had never met one friend or family member. She told him that she was from a small town near Chicago. But he had never been to her house.
Out of desperation, he went back online and saw that her profile was gone from the Internet dating service. Being a savvy guy on the Internet, on a whim, he googled her name. He was surprised when several newspaper articles popped from his search.
He clicked the latest and read about the woman, the love of his life, who he had met on the Internet. His stomach dropped to his knees when he read the headlines: "Local Woman Charged With Murder of Her Husband."
Breaking into a sweat, he read the story, learning that this wonderful woman he had met online was married to the man she allegedly murdered for 12 years and worked as an office manager for an insurance firm. But the husband's body was not found after three months of investigation when she reported her husband missing. A queasy feeling knotted his stomach. He was too stunned to read on. His Internet love affair had crashed and burned.
Could she be contemplating of doing the same to him? Hubert couldn't go there. It was too frightening, too incomprehensible. He had never seen any strange behavior in her. She was kind, loving and told him that they were soulmates.
This true story is not a condemnation of online dating. But a warning that when you go looking for love, you never know what you're going to find. Of course, there are many stories of people falling in love through online datin
Jean Meyer gets compared to Mark Zuckerburg, the founder of Facebook, quite a lot these days; and he doesn’t mind one bit. Meyer is a business student at Columbia University and the co-founder of “Date My School” a dating website exclusively for students of certain colleges.
Meyer originally launched “Date My School” at Columbia, but has also launched the site for New York University, Fashion Institute of Technology and UC Berkeley, too. In April the site will go live at Harvard and MIT.
The premise of “Date My School” is slightly different than many other niche dating websites. Meyer’s take on college dating at such competitive schools was that students simply couldn’t find time for love because they were enrolled in competitive programs, focused on good grades and a good career and had little time on their hands. With “Date My School”, they can meet up with students at their own university, which makes it easier for them to spend time together. It also allows them to date people who will be more likely to understand their busy schedule.
“Date My School” doesn’t provide matching algorithms like many popular traditional dating sites, but it does allow students to be very particular about who sees their profile and who they want to date. Many students, for example, prefer not to match with others in their same program of study.
Jean Meyer, along with Balazs Alexa, has successfully pulled of another great niche dating site, meeting the needs of a very specific dating community. Meyer is French; maybe it’s true that the French know a bit more about love than the rest of us. You can read the full article on Jean Meyer and “Date My School” at the New York Times.
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